I realised recently that I was put off by my desk. The thought of sitting there filled me with a certain amount of dread, mixed with a mild hint of depression. Also a slight hint of disgust, but that’s another story. But why was this, I thought to myself? I’m a huge fan of my work area. I created it the way I wanted it. I even added a Peace Lilly to the corner the other day. But it wasn’t doing the trick.
I could always pull my laptop out from it’s life support wires and bog off to the garden or another room. But it’s really useful to be able to sit at my desk, with multiple monitors, a proper keyboard and a nice firm surface for my mouse (and more importantly my coffee). What was going on here? Why did I keep away from this place which I built to concentrate my focus.
So, I went outside, and sat (with a cup of tea), and contemplated this problem – often this helps – “The problem of the desk”. Then I contemplated what I had achieved at the desk recently, compared to what I had achieved working else where. My workstation upstairs was still compelling to me, as was the outside area. So what was the issue here. I usually use the area upstairs for editing videos or just gaming really. I tend to go outside when I want to write an article, and I normally storm through it in a matter of minutes. I love doing those things because they’re enjoyable and more importantly productive (less so the gaming, but don’t judge me, it’s for research purposes).
So after a bit of real world maths, combining words, thoughts and feelings I came up with the blatantly obvious point here – Recently when I’ve been at my main work desk, Sadly, I admit, I have been unproductive as hell. I’ve procrastinated and I’ve ultimately disappointed myself, and that’s not because I didn’t get the high score on Pacman.
I had succumbed to fear.
Fear Had Me
The more I thought about it, and observed my thoughts. The more I unravelled these issues, and looked at them from a higher perspective; the deeper I got. The procrastination was induced by fear. Fear of not getting projects done and then ending up in a putting off loop. Because I was behind on a few things, I actually feared tackling them, I feared going into my emails and getting the shit done. This makes no sense right? It just compounds the problem. But that’s what was happening none the less.
How did this equate to the desk? Well, I had come to associate the desk with a complete lack of productivity and ultimately with choosing the flight instinct repeatedly in a “Fight or Flight” situation. And you know what? I didn’t like that. I didn’t like that one bit. Rather than procrastinating, I should just be doing what I need to do. I should relax and just tackle it head on and I ultimately without worrying about it.
So that’s what I started to do. I just got started.
This rehabilitated my relationship with my desk because I was fighting, rather than running. I was doing, rather than procrastinating. And you know what? It felt good. My desk felt good again. It was once gain a shrine of productivity, rather than an shambled mess of procrastination.
If you have the same issue. Face your fear. Put your work area back in the happy area of your mind it needs to be and just get started.
Do you want a day like yesterday, where you put everything off? OR a day that will pave every future day to come? No matter how complicated your brain tries to make it, that’s all it boils down to.
Often all you need to change is your mindset.